I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
