I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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