I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
