I got chris browned last night
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I AM VODKA MAN
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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