quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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