at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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