If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
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I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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