I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize