Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
