she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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