We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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