If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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