i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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