If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
