I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
