Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
