my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
