Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
whose parrot is this?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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