just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize