I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
