i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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