I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
