that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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