And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
