have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
