i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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