I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize