I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
