where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
