I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
