the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
