also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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