Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
