How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
