Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
