My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
