your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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