My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
