I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
