my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You're a waste of cheezeits
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize