booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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