Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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