is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
