Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
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When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize