we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
