Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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