So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
And then he peed in my hair
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