I want to stick my p in your. b.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
