why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
