some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
