i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize