my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
