dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
