I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize