I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
