I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
