From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
