I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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