Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
